Fear leads to Hate; Hate leads to Anger and Anger leads to Suffering! Anger is a very human emotion, in the era of ‘bring your whole self to work,’ is there a place for anger in a professional setting?
A colleague recently observed that they had never seen me angry, this innocuous observation then resulted in a debate and hours of reflection on the role or implications of Anger in the workplace.
On the one side there was a perception that displaying Anger shows a passion for your work, on the other side was viewpoint that it was more professional to self-regulate reducing negative workplace energy and keeping a clear head for decision making.
I am sure there are many views on this topic, and it might be quite polarising. I am keen to hear your views on the topic on both sides of the argument. So please feel free to comment or reach out to me with your thoughts.
To help get the debate going, I have constructed my reflections in this article, I hope it helps to stimulate further thinking.
Anger & Passion
The emotions of passion and anger are both big energy emotions and can sometimes be difficult to tell apart.
- Passion is a positive emotion which helps you to push forward during tough times.
- Anger is a destructive emotion which conversely prevents you from moving forward because something was broken during the Anger episode. That something in a workplace setting is often trust. As the saying goes “words said in anger cannot be unsaid”.
Where does Anger come from?
Anger is very much linked to Ego which is linked to preservation, either of the perception of self or protection of resources.
If a situation occurs that threatens our status, achievements, or access to resources then to avoid the pain (either psychological or physical), our body will generate a fight or flight response which is effectively an angry outburst or avoidance.
Both scenarios may result in underlying or residual anger whether it is expressed or repressed. There are well documented negative health effects associated with chronic anger, so it is in all our interest to learn how to manage or channel our anger positively.
Professional Boundaries
A lack of anger should not be confused with a lack of professional boundaries, self-control should not be mistaken for weakness, it is itself a strong form of resilience.
Being able to calmly respond to negative stimuli in the workplace and placing reasonable boundaries on what you will tolerate in a professional setting takes confidence and assertiveness.
Many of us have encountered the frustrated customer who pushes the power dynamic of customer/supplier too far. In these scenarios being able to respond in a calm and controlled manner while redirecting the conversation to be solution focused is a valued competency.
Anger in the workplace
According to Douglas Fields (neuroscientist) when people are chronically exposed to stress or trauma, it rewires their brain to be more susceptible to rage. This becomes apparent in people with PTSD who will often experience emotional outbursts.
While the work environment is meant to be a safe space, there are so many dynamics and pressures in the workplace (politics, cliques, deadlines, budgets, targets, emotions) that it can become a greenhouse for negative emotions.
These negative emotions can turn into microaggressions which can then result in macro aggressions, and you guessed it aggressive or anger-based outbursts.
The challenge is that this creates a ripple effect, like a virus infecting all who encounter it, which in turn can result in damaged relationships, reduced productivity, and unaligned teams.
What to do after an outburst
None of us are perfect, and all of us have experienced times when our anger got the better of us and we lost our temper. If this is in the workplace it can have a negative impact on your professional reputation or social capital.
Irrespective of your position in the power hierarchy – you need to take time to reflect on yourself:
- What triggered you?
- Was your reaction appropriate?
The next question to ask yourself is “what is the impact of your outburst and how far has the ripple effect travelled?”
An angry outburst in a meeting will affect those present, but its unlikely to be contained solely to the attendees and word will travel. This can have unintended implications for your wider professional relationships and how people perceive you.
Once you have a clear understanding of who has been impacted by the outburst you need to set your ego aside and apologise, irrespective of the reason behind the outburst if your response was disproportionate and unprofessional then you need to take steps to accept responsibility for your actions and make a sincere apology.
While there is no guarantee that this will repair your relationship, it will go some way to rebuilding trust particularly if you take steps to keep a level head in future interactions.
Conclusion
As humans, we fully experienced the feelings of anger in our personal and professional lives. The stoic philosophy attests that what we experience is often beyond our control, we can however control how we react to these experiences and reframe our emotions.
Being able to acknowledge the feeling of frustration or anger without allowing them to control you are huge components of personal and professional development. As the saying goes;
“You cannot see your reflection in boiling water. Similarly, you cannot see the truth in a state of anger.”
When the waters calm, clarity comes!
Cultivating self-awareness allows you to explore why these feelings of anger are arising – is it due to ego, insecurity, fear, embarrassment? … and this enables rationalisation of response, allowing you to react to that situation in a way that drives a more positive outcome.
While this may make a person more predictable, it should also make them more effective, as we stated earlier, emotions are infectious and by regulating our emotions, we can create a more effective/productive working environment.
