Trust a sensitive topic of discussion. Do we trust people? Hmm, a great question to ponder upon!
I am not sure what according to you is the definition of Trust; as a Maverick Coach, I say ‘Trust simply means reliable, which leads to a firm belief – in self, someone or something.’
The point to be noted here is that my definition means the lens with which I consider the meaning of Trust, is ‘Reliability’ and I look for this characteristic in others as well.
Since I am a reliable person and I fulfil my promises on time, I expect others to be the same way, hence the disconnect rising.
Everyone perceives trust from a different lens (like transparency, credibility, dependability, integrity), therefore, everyone defines trust differently.
For example, if trust means ‘reliability’ for me and for you it means ‘transparency’; then I may doubt you being reliable and hence pass judgements about you if you fail to fulfill the commitment.
However, there is a possibility that you were very honest and transparent in communicating to me the reason for not being able to fulfill the commitment. In this scenario the lens that I operate from is ‘reliability’ and the lens that you operate from is ‘transparency’.
Neither of us are wrong, it’s just the way we look at the situation and the person’s actions. In fact, I should have appreciated you for being transparent in letting me know before time that you wouldn’t be able to complete the task.
In this scenario I need to change my perspective and see the situation from your lens as well.
When I say lens; I mean the stance, the way we perceive the word trust in a particular situation/aspect.
Apparently, we consider our own lens as the most important and do not accept others’ lens so easily. Thus, we make judgements basis our lens and that is why we don’t trust people easily.
- I may accept my own differences in opinion, however do not accept different view/opinions of others!
- I am ready to accept my own limitations, and may not be ready to accept others’ limitations!
- I trust my intention as good, yet not willing to accept others’ intention to be good!
Personally, I trust everyone at the first instance. The results might be unpleasant later though.
I give a lot of chances to people and then sometimes I am forced to make an opinion. When I do that, I self-reflect to analyse the situation and I contemplate that the opinions are based as per my lens; while actually the other person could be in some thwarted situation.
As the thoughts/ judgements/opinions crop up, I attempt to understand their point of view and the ‘why’ behind it?
Let’s enquire and probe ourselves a bit more..
What comes to your mind when someone asks you these questions:
- What is Trust?
- How would you define Trust?
- Why is Trust important in your life?
- Do you Trust people?
- Would you still trust someone who has not been up to your expectation the first time?
I am sure the responses may have been different. Maybe the words that flashed in your mind were- faith/faithful, reliable/reliability, confide/confiding, belief/believe/believing, confidence or any other.
Each individual has a different view and a unique perspective yet the essence behind all the views and perspectives would be quite similar.
Hence, whatever are the responses and however we may define trust; we all know that ‘Trust is the foundation of all relationships’.
- With which lens of trust I see myself and others?
- Do I trust others easily?
- Do I trust myself?
As a Maverick Coach, I am keen to cross-learn. Do reflect on this topic and share your views with me.