With no crystal ball it’s down to conscious. Choice!
Sometimes it is hard to let the grip of our human existence go. The notion that life is happening for us, in contrast to to us, can sometimes feel like a stretch for our fragile nervous system. Yet, when curve balls are thrown, as they inevitably will, there is a process we can go through to ensure the circumstances are palatable enough to work through.
While it will be our prehistoric conditioning that will want to take centre stage, the primal force within our brain that is designed to seek out safety; it is the conscious mind that will create the balance between head, heart and personal power.
Our mind left unchecked, will sift through an array of fears which will become an immobilising force and counterproductive to solution seeking. Without awareness of the mechanics of our brain, our mind’s predisposition is to focus on areas well out of our control.
The goal is to ensure focus is kept within the realms of what is under our control while also accepting the role of the sneaky inner critic. Acknowledging that the presence of thoughts and desires designed to side swipe us are common. It is our willingness to find ways to manage them to ensure we stay grounded, balanced and flexible in times of stress.
How do I see life happening for me?
This is the conscious choice to see how every situation, relationship, and experience is offering an opportunity to learn something. Your growth and expansion is not dependant on life turning out well, but on how you manage each and every situation that is presented to you.
The ability to detach yourself from expectations is crucial for relieving the pressure of having a pre-determined and definitive outcome in mind. While it makes sense to dream and plan, there must always be room for flexibility towards the unknown. Risk management is important but so is detachment.
How do I stay in the zone of ‘What can I control?’
What you can control are your thoughts, feelings and actions. Becoming conscious daily of each one of these is integral to staying in this zone. Checking in with oneself, noticing what thoughts are coming in, how are they making you feel and how are your actions therefore determined by these, allows you to course correct when necessary.
List the benefits. This is one of the easiest ways to stay in the right mindset. While it is essential that you honour feelings of worry, doubt and overwhelm, to move through and begin to solution seek you will need to choose where you place your energy.
Create a list of what you will gain from your experience (depending on the situation, this exercise is primarily WHEN you are ready to move forward. Certain experiences need time and deep healing first.) What is this situation gifting you? Maybe it is more time with family or the opportunity to renovate? Maybe it is space for deep contemplation to address issues you were currently ignoring?
Create a list of skills you are wanting to learn. Maybe you want to retrain in something or make improvements to your website? Do you want to up-skill in culinary skills or learn effective communication styles? Can you focus on the skills that will enhance your life?
Take the pressure off! With no crystal ball it’s down to conscious.
What exhausts more energy than anything is not allowing yourself the freedom to feel what you feel. In the pursuit of ‘doing’ better many people avoid the range of emotions that are critical to creating a balanced experience of life. Choosing where to focus your energy and the way you choose to view the world is important, but so is honouring the shadow.
Accepting that feeling exhausted and overwhelmed or confused is more than necessary. The need to re-calibrate after extreme change is important. Avoidance of any emotion will ensure it persists and/or re-presents itself further down the track. Slowing down, making space and choosing to live intentionally allows you to take the pressure off making yourself wrong or avoiding what you are feeling.
We don’t always ask for the experiences we have in life, but regardless, we do have a choice of how we manage. The more we know, the more we let go, the more we recognise some of the hardest days bring about the nicest gifts, the easier our transition onto a new path can become.
Can you reflect on one benefit from your time in isolation?