Multicultural Family: A Blessing in Disguise. Yes, I understand. Judging from the title, many from multicultural families might quickly refute this notion. You might hear arguments like:
- “Aren’t multicultural families one of the fastest routes to divorce due to constant misunderstandings?”
- “Don’t children from such families struggle to grasp their true identity, especially when their parents belong to different cultural backgrounds and skin complexions?”
- “My own experience in a multicultural family was unpleasant, so I wouldn’t advise my siblings or children to follow suit.”
The list could go on, but from my years of experience, I firmly believe that being part of a multicultural family is indeed a blessing in disguise. “Really?” Hold on, I’ll demonstrate shortly, but first, here’s a bit about my background:
I was born into a slightly multicultural family. My dad hails from the Punjab in India while my mum is from Malaysia so one could say I am from mixed cultures but I was born and grew up in the United Kingdom. Growing up was challenging due to frequent discriminatory comments stemming from my multicultural heritage.
As if that wasn’t reason enough to dissuade anyone from relationships across races, I entered into a relationship with a British born Jamaican man. Everything was smooth for years until my second child was on the way. It was then I discovered he was cheating on me. Long story short, we parted ways but managed to ensure our children could lead happier lives by staying in communication.
Now, you might be thinking, “See, this is why multicultural families aren’t a blessing!” But let me offer reasons why, in my opinion, they are:
a) Growing up in a multicultural family nurtures an understanding and acceptance of the world: Diversity enhances empathy and tolerance for various beliefs and practices.
b) Such families expose you to multiple languages. I, for instance, speak three: Punjabi, Hindi, English and of course understand Patois.
c) They expose you to the richness of diverse cultures.
d) Multicultural families expand your network: having relatives, friends, and connections across different cultures and countries is pretty cool.
e) How about culinary diversity? My children love dishes like Ackee and Roti (coincidentally, that’s the title of my book. Ha ha).
f) Being from a multicultural family could increase your resilience. “But isn’t this supposed to be a curse?” No, managing varied cultural expectations cultivates acceptance and resilience, crucial interpersonal skills.
I could go on, but let me address the questions on your mind:
- How did I move on?
- How did I help my children cope with racism given their different complexions?
- How did I find hope in multiculturalism despite the heartbreak?
One word: Perspective.
I shifted my perspective from focusing solely on the negatives of a multicultural family to embracing its positives. I realised that vices like cheating aren’t tied to a person’s nationality or skin color but are individual traits.
Lastly, people can change, and life is as beautiful as you perceive it. Complaining about being in a multicultural family can make it increasingly complex, but seeking understanding, being grateful, and embracing the real-world experience it offers can change your view.
With this simple strategy of shifting my perspectives, I was able to heal myself of previous trauma and limiting beliefs (which didn’t align with who I was ) ; help people with similar challenges and overcome them; help individuals, teenagers, single parents, south Asian ladies and the elderlies from multicultural families bridge cultures and thrive. You see, why I am convinced it is a blessing in disguise. One just has to find and focus on the positives.
In summary,
Embrace gratitude for being part of a multicultural family despite the differences. Strive to understand one another, listen more, and empathise. There are countless beautiful lessons in such families. Enjoy the journey, seek help to navigate challenges, and things will eventually align in your favour.