Vulnerability is sexy. We are spiritual Beings, not spiritual Doers!!!
When women are not using their superpower to speak up, we must ask ourselves Why? International Women’s Day is all about Inspiring Inclusion which means we must all include and hear women’s voices. Our voices have the power to save ourselves and the world.
I asked myself in the middle of the turmoil I was facing back in 2017 why I felt muted? Why was my voice taken away from me and why did I feel so weak, lost, exhausted and afraid, when I’d always been so strong and put together.
I held the title of ‘Independent Black woman’ so proudly that it almost destroyed me. I had to gain my Power to Speak.
Being a businesswoman, a Black woman, a mother, raised by an African woman has its advantages and disadvantages. Let me share why and how I came to this conclusion, so that I can perhaps inspire another woman, no matter what race, size, culture or religious beliefs you may have, this is for you.
I was raised with an immense amount of responsibility and beliefs that I had to get a job, get married and take care of everyone else, but never once was I told to take care of me. So inevitably I burnt out, ‘being everything to everyone, having little left for me’.
I didn’t breakdown, I was being placed in a position to relearn everything that I had ever been taught. Like going through a rebirth and self-discovery of who I am as a woman. Striping away all the titles of mother, sister, cousin, daughter, that I’d held onto for so long. Who was Neusa without the ‘responsibility’?
As I took the first step, staring down at the London A13 busy dual carriageway. It was either choosing to live, or possibly taking the driver that would be hurt or lose his life because I chose to end mine. I stopped and decided to choose to live.
But guess why I chose to live, it was more the thought of hurting the driver, my daughter and my family that helped with that decision, lol I was still being selfless. That’s all I ever knew how to be. Live for them not necessarily for me, because I was barely surviving and the thought of suicide excited me.
Fast forward 5 years later since healing from severe mental health challenges as a symptom of burnout and a condition called Body Dysmorphic Disorder I found my voice.
It started with unleashing my superpower, Vulnerability! The word we associate with weakness, but it is the most Powerful power we have as women. Vulnerability really is sexy, we just have to begin to own it!!!
It connects, liberates, releases, heals, it empowers us and begins the journey to self discovery.
Without going too deep into my own story. Here are some of the steps I took to transform my life and ignite my Superpower to raise my voice to make a greater impact in the world, but most importantly to provoke people’s mind and also to become a magnetic Divine Feminine Goddess. Ooohhh what’s a magnetic Divine Feminine Goddess? Stick with me, I will explain.
- Make a Decision, tapping into your why. What will keep you going no matter how hard life gets! My why is my family.
- Allow yourself to be Vulnerable. Express your thoughts, feelings either to those you trust or journal them, I call this a brain dump!
The more I expressed on paper it began to turn into poetry, I discovered a gift I had for spoken word and published my story ‘Soul of a Woman a Journey to Selflove’ available on amazon Amazon.com: Soul of A Woman: A Journey to Self Love eBook : Catoja, Neusa, Publications, Peaches: Kindle Store
- Remove the guilt of not doing enough! This one is challenging but a must. Guilt is such a heavy energy that keeps us in a cyle of self-blame & shame. My book guides you on how to do this in a step by step.
- Ask yourself daily ‘What do I need’. It could be rest, a hug, a walk in nature, to dance, express or move. I loved to write, so I did more of it. All my journals turned into 2 books, one already launched, ‘Soul of a Woman a Journey to Self Love’. Soon launching in Portuguese, and part 2 currently being written.
- Learn to love Yourself. If you are an empath and love to help others, begin by taking good care of you with self love. My book will guide you through poetry, coaching exercises that are simple to do and lots of reflections of where my mind was so you can identify with my story and maybe one day be vulnerable enough to share yours.
These were a few things I did and you can do to rediscover you and use your voice.
So why did I meantion that being an independant black woman has its advantages and disadvantages?
The advantages is that I knew how to take care of myself and didn’t depend on anyone, I learnt to be resilient, to protect myself and take care of my Daughter.
The disadvantages were that I didn’t make room for my feminine energy to be still, to rest, to receive and in some ways in relationships I didn’t allow the masculine to do his part, as I had the attitude of doing it all and never allowing the masculine space to be. seen. I burnt out ‘trying’ so hard to do it all alone, believing that asking or being vulnerable was a weakeness.
What did going through a rebirth to rediscover myself teach me that benefits me in so many ways in manifesting the life that I truly love and walking in my Divine Purpose?
It taught me that selflove is the best love and that being more myself requires that I am in my feminine energy, speaking my truth, asking for what I truly desire and only pouring from a full cup.