A masterclass of pivoting

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A masterclass of pivoting. Overcoming personal challenges seems to be a speciality of mine. In fact, it’s something I’ve explored in depth, having written an entire book about the obstacles I’ve faced and how I’ve navigated them. One of my clients, after reading it, remarked, “You are the master of the pivot.” They weren’t wrong. My life has been defined by a series of pivots through challenges: from school bullying to postnatal depression, autoimmune disease, divorce, and, most recently, the journey of receiving an ADHD diagnosis for both myself and my children.

Not long ago, I revisited my therapist after a four-year break. As I recounted the past few years, she said, “I’m feeling overwhelmed just listening to you. How on earth have you coped this long?”

The answer lies in my tools. I’ve developed and relied on techniques such as NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), Family Constellation Therapy, EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), coaching, and, most importantly, the support of an incredible network of people. Asking for help during challenging times can be daunting, but I’ve learned that reciprocity often works wonders. When I help others, they’re often eager to support me in return. I don’t help them to get the return, but I know when I need it, there is a queue of people waiting to be there for me. What a gift in life!

Let’s take a deeper dive into one of my most recent personal challenges.

Just a few months ago, I was lying in bed with my partner, Matt, when I commented on how odd it was that his dad hadn’t messaged to say he was home from his holiday. Matt’s dad is an independent adventurer and we knew he had had a wonderful time away, but there was a niggle. We reassured ourselves that Matt’s sister would have called if there was an issue. Then, 30 minutes later, the phone rang – it was Matt’s sister. His dad hadn’t arrived home, and she was double-checking the dates of his return.

The next few hours were a master class in how to find someone when you only have a vague notion of where they are. How to manage emotions when the potential for disaster was high and how to pivot when you have big plans in place that now have to be overruled to accommodate a real family emergency. Thankfully both myself and Matt are huge fans of detective programs, and we put our skills learned from the best super sleuths to use.

First, we had to cancel our plans to fly to Germany that evening for a four-day course we’d spent months preparing for. It wasn’t just a casual trip; we’d been creatively planning, crafting costumes based on a vague brief (so we had to use our imagination and push past the discomfort of not understanding why), and selecting music with personal meaning. We were excited and ready for this experience, yet, in an instant, our priorities shifted to something far more important.

Next, we had to travel to a hospital in mainland Greece, via an island three hours away, where Matt’s dad had been admitted. Communication during this time was sporadic, leaving us to fill in the blanks as best we could. Matt and I each processed the situation differently – he focused on strategy and logistics, while I delved into research and information-gathering. This complementary approach served us well.

The outcome? Matt’s dad had taken an unfortunate fall on a marble pavement but, fortunately, he was battered and bruised rather than seriously harmed.

While that sounds like the end of the story, it wasn’t. We ended up staying in Greece for ten days. Though it might sound idyllic, it was filled with logistical challenges – packing up with no certainty of what lay ahead. Yet, amidst the uncertainty, there were wonderful moments: quality time with Matt’s dad and support from others that made all the difference.

My parents stepped in immediately to look after our children. The kind-hearted local travel company our “Greek angels”—volunteered to translate during hospital appointments, far beyond what anyone could expect. Our clients adapted to online meetings, enabling us to continue supporting their needs from afar. The flexibility of running a location-independent business became invaluable, allowing us to be present for family when it mattered most.

The week was not without its tough decisions. Matt had to leave for work after a week, while I stayed on in Greece. We’d also been shortlisted for a business award, and the ceremony coincided with our stay. Matt attended with the support of family and friends, hosting a table of ten, while I sat alone in pyjamas in our Greek apartment, anxiously awaiting the results. At midnight, I got the news—we’d won!

That moment brought a flood of emotions, although I was elated at our success, I felt disappointed to miss our first business award. My parents, who attended the event, were proud to see Matt collect the award but saddened that I wasn’t there too. Matt, in turn, regretted that his dad, who had supported him through numerous of his own life challenges, couldn’t join us to celebrate—a poignant reminder of life’s unpredictability.

Yet, we focused on gratitude. I was grateful to stay in Greece, to be recognised for our work with male suicide prevention charity Tough to Talk, a cause close to our hearts, and for the support network that made everything possible and of course for some unexpected sunshine and good food.

Life has a way of throwing curveballs. How we respond is what truly matters. During my NLP training, I learned that while it’s not always easy to accept, we have a choice in how we react to challenges. Our beliefs shape our thoughts, which influence our feelings, actions, and, ultimately, results.

I believe I can rise to any challenge, pivot when needed, embrace adversity, and still find joy in life. This belief has served me well.

What do you believe?

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