From Grief to Jazzed. Wilful intention, bravery, and you.
In October I wrote about the grief of 2020, about what we have lost and what we grieve. If you are like me, the list may have grown. Mine did and now counts souls of loved ones.
Oh 2020, you have been tough.
When I wrote in October, I was exploring the idea that 2020 could become my Great Reconnection, my Great Soul Expansion. I chose to keep that idea in my community, opening up conversation with many different people. Many, but not all, were feeling a similar pull in their approach to 2020 and now 2021.
We talked about losses and also gains. Things like:
- Relearning the joy of playing extended, heart-open pretend with our little ones.
- Welcoming the new hearts and hands doing the personal and group work required to shift the reality of inequality in our world.
- Crafting joyful, unexpected reconnections with people from all times of our lives, and releasing connections that were no longer heart-felt
- Looking over the best laid plans and all the shoulds, flipping them upside down, and asking, “really?” to free ourselves and each other from expectations that don’t fit (looking at you, ‘perfect Christmas’ expectation)
2020, you have been a bringer of life-and-world changing gifts.
Grief & Growth / Both, And
During these conversations, I found myself consistently sending people the link to this magazine and Judith’s concept of Mavericks. The choice to move through grief of loss and through the growth of gain with intention, are clear examples of choosing to be Maverick Leaders.
We may not all use the term Maverick but we do all know we are in control of our destiny, stepping back, stepping out, doing the free dance through 2020 and into 2021.
At the core of being a Maverick is wilful intention – the determination to do something regardless of what other people think or wish.
To act on that determination, we need the skill of bravery.
For example, according to the 2020 McKinsey Lean-In Women in the Workplace report, one in four women are either considering or are already stepping back from their traditional careers. Some will label that grief without growth, others will claim its weakness and cowardice.
I say it is grief and growth, with wilful intention and bravery.
For one woman, what we call “stepping back” is actually stepping towards her family, interests, business dreams, peace of mind. It is her right choice. She needs wilful intention and bravery to both grieve and grow.
For example, I reduced the amount of consulting work I accept so that I can be with my kiddos even more while schooling from home. That choice was deeply uncomfortable for me and it was the right choice for me, the brave and wilful choice.
For another woman, “stepping up” is becoming more visible, more clear, more bold, more unapologetic about her grief and her growth. She will need – you guessed it! – the same as the first woman.
For example, as a coach, I raised my prices, turned away more potential clients, and attracted the amazing women who are committed heart and soul to building the skill of bravery to improve their world … so that they improve THE world. It sounds easy now that I write it but it was terrifying and it was the brave, wilful choice for me.
Get wilfully, bravely jazzed.
What about you? What is your brave, wilful choice?
You may have already made your brave, wilful choice and now you are moving through your grief and into your growth. Or perhaps, you’ve moved through so far, that you may even be ready for the next level.
Or you may feel stuck, lost, overwhelmed, empty and trying to identify your brave, wilful choice.
Look, there are a lot of ‘shoulds’ being tossed around these days. Shoo them away – all of them. 2020 has taken and 2021 can give: freedom to reconnect, expand, redesign. Instead, of ‘should’, I offer a possibility for you to enjoy:
Gift yourself a few moments this week and notice when your joy is more present than anything else 2020 has brought to you.
I called this “getting jazzed” and I know that everything that brings me closer to being jazzed is where I will make the biggest difference in the world. So I write more, walk each morning, work with successful women yearning for their next big success, play pretend with my daughter, read with my son, and send a note of gratitude almost every day.
Those ‘shoulds’ don’t have space in my heart full of jazz.
From Grief to Jazzed
So, what jazzes you up?
When you know, get wilfully, bravely jazzed every day and know that the grief and the growth remain.
Because, while 2020 has been everything awful, we are now in 2021 and we willfully decision what that means.
I chose BOTH AND.