How Important is Character to Your Success? A refined character is the ultimate path to success and fulfillment. That is one of the 25 most important lessons I’ve learned.
A little background. I’ve been a consultant/speaker/trainer for over 30 years, having worked with more than 500 B2B sales forces. Recently, one of my clients suggested that I compile a list of the 25 most important lessons I’ve learned and write about each. Pursuing that idea, I came up with a long list. To narrow it down, I applied these criteria to the list:
1. It had to be an important lesson – one which has the potential to dramatically affect a person, a sales team, or a business – not superficial or trivial.
2. It had to arise out of my personal experience. In other words, not something that I garnered from a book, or borrowed from someone else. Something I’ve learned in the trenches.
3. It had to have been tested in the caldron of real-world experience. No blue-sky stuff.
4. I had to unwaveringly vouch for its validity. These are concepts and lessons that I would stand behind.
Using that process, I reduced the list to 25. Here’s the next on the list: “A refined character is the ultimate path to success and fulfillment.”
Let’s begin by defining what we mean by a refined character.
Character, according to Google, is defined as “the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual.” We often refer to these “qualities of character” as character traits. These words refer to our habitual behaviour, and consist of our thoughts, feelings, and attitudes, evidenced in the choices we make.
Think of one’s character as personality – the way a person habitually acts. So, one can be outgoing, for example, honest or deceptive, proud or humble, thankful or resentful, and so on. The combination of the individual traits come together to form a person’s character. Everyone, therefore, has a unique character.
While much of our character develops in our childhood, at some point in our development we can decide to intentionally acquire certain desirable traits. We are not bystanders in the development of our character. If we are shy, for example, we don’t have to continue to be. We can choose to change.
But change is difficult and, unfortunately, most people don’t pursue it. James Allen said:
“Men are often interested in improving their circumstance, but are unwilling to improve themselves, they therefore remain bound.”
A refined character is a set of traits that have been intentionally built into one’s personality. But not just any traits. Over generations, wise and thoughtful people have defined a set of traits that are more admirable, more conducive to success and fulfillment than others. The Bible, for example, encourages Christians to develop a set of traits it calls the ‘fruit of the spirit’:
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23, NIV
There are other lists, but this is a good starting point. The idea is that these character traits will lead to a life of fulfillment and impact, and that they are attainable via a joint effort of God’s spirit and us.
One of the core strategies to live a successful life, then, is to develop a higher set of traits – to pursue are fined character. From time immemorial, wise and thoughtful people have agreed. You may recall that Martin Luther King said,
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the colour of their skin but by the content of their character.
But it seems that in recent years the acknowledgement of the power of a refined character has been jettisoned in favour of an emphasis on far more superficial characteristics. We are encouraged to hire people, not on the basis of their character and knowledge, but on the basis of their skin tone, ethnic background or gender. We are told to celebrate, not the accomplishments of self-discipline and commitment, but rather one’s sexual proclivities. We’ve abandoned character as the standard.
At every level of our society, the consequences are huge.
For individuals, the drive to seek success and fulfillment in external circumstances prevents, as James Allen said 100 years ago, our developing a refined character. As long as our circumstances are someone else’s fault, we’ll never accept the responsibility to improve ourselves. We abandon personal responsibility to become a better person. The result is a lifetime of frustration and bitterness.
Watch your thoughts: They become words.
Watch your words: They become actions.
Watch your actions: They become habits.
Watch your habits: They become character.
Watch your character: It becomes your destiny.
In businesses and organisations, the purpose gets lost in the drive for diversity. It is no longer the organisation’s focus to be the best by delivering high quality services and products driven by motivated people, but rather to look inward and focus on the superficial characteristics of the workforce. When becoming the best is no longer pursued, one naturally defaults to mediocrity.
As an outsider looking into over 500 sales forces, I’ve observed that, in spite of the rhetoric of the politicians, talking heads and social media mavens, character counts. The best salespeople are high character individuals. The best sales managers are motivated by ‘fruit of the spirit type’ motivations. And the best companies are directed by high character people.
Those who focus on outside circumstances and blame someone else for their issues inevitably sink to mediocrity and often bitterness and frustration. You can’t build a successful business with employees who think of themselves as victims.
While government can tolerate (and maybe even encourage) mediocrity, and while institutions can accommodate a percentage of their employees who aren’t interested in character, business has no margin for the mediocre. A business that doesn’t understand and encourage a refined character is doomed to mediocrity and eventual demise.
At the level of our society, when we abandon a refined character as the value for which we strive, we take a step backward. We become more like the Middle Ages, when emotional rhetoric ruled, and a person was treated on the basis of his/her birth instead of their accomplishments. It took hundreds of years in the development of mankind to move beyond that. Unfortunately, our abandonment of character is a step backward. It is not surprising that on almost all measures of a healthy society, the USA is moving downward toward mediocrity.
That’s why one of the most important lessons I’velearned in 30 years of consulting is “A refined character is the ultimate path to success and fulfillment.”
