How personal challenges shape business owners. Personal challenges and experiences shape the way we live, work and who we are. They also make a significant impact on who we are as business owners, how we manage our businesses and what relationships we have with our clients, contractors and employees.
I would like to share my story with you on how my personal challenges since childhood shaped who I am now and how it led to starting my own business. I am going to cut long story short here and summarise the experiences which have been defining me for the last 33 years.
I am originally from Poland but have been living in the UK for the last 14 years. I have lost my dad in a car accident at the age of eight leaving my mum, my sister and me behind. I need to mention here that mum is the strongest woman I know – she raised two daughters all by herself when losing her husband at the age of 28. My mum showed me how strong and independent women can be if we embrace change and challenge ourselves.
Fast forward to 2008, my sister decided she is going to study in the UK and off she went. 2 years later, I had to make the biggest decision of my life (at that time). There were 2 choices – to stay in Poland, go to university with mum paying fees and bills or to follow my sister to the UK, being able to afford myself but leaving my mum all alone in Poland. By now you should know what decision I took! Yes, you are right. I packed myself up and arrived in the UK in June 2010. Few years later my mother thanked me for this decision as she would not be able to cope financially with me studying in Poland. She followed us to the UK in 2012.
I am not going to bore you with my life at university when working part time (I still call it part time, but it was 30-35 hours of work in three days). It was not easy but made me proud that I could afford myself and did not have to rely on anyone financially. Fast forward to 2023, I worked as a Waiter, Pub Manager, Warehouse Admin, Team Leader, Shift Manager and Assistant Site Manager. In all these jobs I went all in, I gave everything and sometimes got not much in return. Yes, I got paid but lack of empathy and understanding in the workplaces still amazes me.
I had my daughter in February 2020 and since then, I was trying to figure out what I am going to do when I am back from maternity leave. I submitted a flexible working request giving my employer six options on what hours I can work. They were all rejected due to business needs! I cried for a week and did not know what to do. I had to pick myself up and go back to work on four-on-four-off basis working twelve hours a day. But that is not the worst part!
As I was having my four days off, my husband was working. We never seen each other! We managed six months like that and the outcome of that decision has been detrimental ever since. My daughter ended up with a separation anxiety at the age of 1 and I still see the signs of it now when she is almost 5. I ended up with a depression and anxiety and could not cope with work anymore. I took some time off and on return I have been told that the workplace is closing. Another challenge to overcome!
Stupidly, I went to another full-time employment working 08:30am to 5pm with my daughter in a full-time nursery and me spending £12,000 a year on a childcare. After a year, I realised how tired I am and how tired my family is. I did not want to continue like this anymore but being higher earner in the family at this time did not help as I did not want to lose a stable income. And guess what? In February 2024, I have been told that my position is being made redundant. Again!
At this point, I told myself that I am not going to rely on employed roles going forwards. I did not consider this as a safe option anymore and I decided to give it a go and open my own business as a Virtual Assistant. I have not looked back since! I am now in a control of my life and my income. Monies do not come in from one stream, I have various income flows so even if I lose one, I still have others! I am not able to employ anyone yet but if I ever am, I am going to give them flexibility! I am going to allow them time with family, attending school assemblies and I am never going to micromanage.
My childhood experiences made me a strong independent businesswoman. I chose how I work and with who I work. It is like finally living on my own terms. It is surprising how going so much back in time made me realise where my current behaviours and preferences comes from. I learned to use own failures as lessons. They make me stronger every day as I use those experiences as a motivation to push forward.
Personal challenges and experiences shape us. Every moment in a past contributes to who we are going to be in the future. It is us who decide who we are going to become. It is important to shift negative experiences and challenges into positives. If you experienced something detrimental, do not pass it to the others! Use them to build a stronger version of yourself. Be the business owner you always wanted to work with, be the employer you always wanted to work for!
What shaped you as a business owner?
