Most People Would Rather Not Accept the Truth. The consequences are too great. Recently, one of my clients recommended that I compile a series of posts on the most important lessons I’ve learned over my 30-year career as a consultant, working with over 500 different organisations. This is one of those lessons: Most people would rather believe a comfortable lie than accept an uncomfortable truth.
That sounds so harsh, and perhaps it is. It is, however, an observation that I have made and affirmed over and over again. Here’s an example. In my work with B2B sales organisations, I have occasionally been involved in an exercise in which we calculate the ‘net profit’ per customer. This is an arduous effort that requires allocation of all the company’s internal costs to each customer on a fair and equitable basis. So, the cost of the buildings, executives, advertising, etc. are all allocated to each customer and that number subtracted from the gross profit realized from that customer to yield a ‘net profit per customer.’ It’s a great way to evaluate each customer and make decisions about your relationship with each.
In one case, my client was a several hundred-million-dollar suppliers of one category of product to a selection of big box stores. The company served hundreds of stores operated by 11 customers.
When the exercise was completed, it was revealed that only one of those 11 customers was profitable. The others were subsidised by the one profitable account. I attended the board meeting when that report was presented. What did the board do with this incredible piece of information? Absolutely nothing.
They tabled the report and refused to consider it. The consequences were just too great to actually embrace it and do something. They had just built a 300,000 square foot warehouse, for example. Any action that they would have taken would have reflected negatively on the decision to build that warehouse. The consequences of accepting the truth were too great. Instead, they chose to intentionally engage in self-deception.
While that may have been the most dramatic example of this truth – that most people would rather not accept the truth – it is only one of countless other examples I’ve encountered in my career.
Here’s another. The owner of a small distribution company was approaching retirement and brought one of his children into the business to succeed him. One of his salespeople had been with the company for thirty years, and the new second generation owner suspected that the salesperson had parleyed his longevity into a position where he was not accountable to anyone accept the retiring owner. The younger manager suspected that that salesperson was taking advantage of it. So, the new manager installed a GPS tracker into his company car and tracked his actions. The GPS revealed that, while the salesperson was claiming to be working his territory, he was spending two working days a week at his cabin on the lake.
The retiring owner’s response? Maybe the salesperson needed more vacation time. He refused to accept the truth – that the salesperson was taking unethical advantage of the owner – and instead chose to persist in a deception.
The dynamics at play are the same as the earlier, corporate board example. Someone becomes so invested in what was a firm belief, that when that belief is challenged, they refuse to face the consequences of the new reality, and instead choose to remain in what has become an intentional self-deception. For the corporate board, it was the 300,000 sq ft warehouse, and all the time, money and corporate prestige on the line. For the retiring owner, it was his view of the employee as loyal and dedicated. That he was being deceived would eviscerate that perception.
I’ve seen that scenario play out countless times in my consulting career. A belief becomes rooted into people’s psyche. When a clearer view of the truth becomes apparent, they are so invested in the consequences that they intentionally continue in the self-deception rather than accept the new level of truth and the implications that come with it.
I wish this were just a business phenomenon. But, alas, it seems to be a part of human nature, manifesting in all sorts of aspects of our lives. The power of the status quo, and our irrational grasping onto it, is one of the most powerful forces in our lives.
It operates in families as well as organisations. I’ve seen, for example, parents who believe their teenage and adult children can do no wrong and defend them in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary. In the near East, I watched a 13-year-old servant girl being blamed for a theft that everyone knew she had not committed. But in that culture, the truth was not as important as the image of respectability within the family, and the child was beaten mercilessly.
I’ve seen it in non-profit organisations, where the chief decision makers hold onto a spurious claim for impact and effectiveness because they have invested years of their career into a concept of minimal, if any, import. As always, the consequences of jettisoning the self-deception are too great. They have invested too many years of their career and education into the system to admit that the system is flawed.
The list can go on and on. That’s why it is one of the 25 most important lessons I’ve learned.
