The Biggest Obstacle to Your Success Resides Inside You

The Biggest Obstacle to Your Success Resides Inside You. While I have seen this lesson in operation in scores of the companies and sales forces that’ve worked with, I first stumbled across it as a young man. Here’s the story.

I had been the number one salesperson for the company I was with, but didn’t see any long-term opportunities, and decided to look for another position. I found a new job, selling surgical staplers to surgeons in the operating room. IN many ways, the job was the opposite of the one I had. It paid a draw for six months against a 100% commission plan, and you had to buy your demonstration material and literature from the company. I looked at the amount of existing business in the territory I was to get, and decided that if I doubled the business, I would be back to where I had been, financially, and then could improve my standard of living from there. 

So, I opted to take the risk and headed out to New York city for six weeks of sales training. While I was gone, the manager who had hired me left for a promotion, and I had a new manager. When I returned from sales training, he had urgent news for me. He had rearranged the sales territories, and the one I was now to be assigned had only 1/3 of the existing business in it as the territory for which I had been hired.

I got angry and upset. How could they do this to me? It didn’t look like I could make a living. So, I began to look for another job immediately. I discovered that everyone with whom I interviewed thought it a negative that I was looking for another job so soon after having accepted that one. I couldn’t find another job. 

I found myself between the proverbial rock and hard place. I couldn’t make a living with the revised territory, and I couldn’t get another job. I was angry and bitter.

Then, one day, out of the blue, I had a realisation. It wasn’t them; it was me! Yes, the company had treated me badly. Yet, the product was still incredible, and the opportunity was still huge. The problem wasn’t them; it was my bitterness and anger that was holding me back. The problem with my performance wasn’t them, it was me.  

When I realised that the issues holding me back were within me, I then had the power to do something about it. That realisation was like a huge weight off my shoulders. I wasn’t a victim. I could change myself.

While I initially stumbled across this lesson – that for most people, the biggest obstacle to their success resides inside them – I found it confirmed repeatedly in my work as a sales consultant. Here’s how it manifests.

Focusing on circumstances

It must be human nature to look for the causes of our problems in the external environment instead of looking inward and searching ourselves. In my work with salespeople, I’ve often heard that the problem was the competition, the customer’s unrealistic expectations, the personality of the customer, their company’s inability to do something, etc. It never occurs to most salespeople that the problem might be them. Did they create a trusting relationship? Did they strive to know the customer’s situation as deeply as possible? Did they present the best solution in a persuasive and thorough way? Have they identified and addressed the customer’s concerns?

Over 100 years ago, James Allen observed. 

“Men are often interested in improving their circumstance, but are unwilling to improve themselves, they therefore remain bound”  – James Allen                                           

The situation is complicated by the fact that sometimes the issue is in the circumstances you are facing. However, as long as you believe that the problem is totally outside of yourself, you will forever remain a victim, helpless to improve your circumstances. 

The next time you are faced with a serious problem, before you blame the circumstances, ask yourself, “What did I do to create or encourage these circumstances?” “What could I have done differently?”  “What should I do differently?”

Hindering internal beliefs

Years ago, I attended a workshop presented by a group called (I think) The Institute for Childhood Conflicts. The premise was that we all pick up erroneous beliefs about ourselves and the world around us during our childhood and spend the rest of our lives overcoming them. 

The older I become and the more of life I reflect upon, the more I see the truth in that premise. 

That these beliefs are so deeply embedded into our psyche’s that we are not even aware of them complicates things even more. They typically take the form of our self-image. For example, I have seen salespeople who couldn’t effectively make a cold call – not because they were incapable, but because they saw themselves as limited.

I’ve seen members of my extended family who were bright, attractive, educated, but who live lives on the cusp of poverty because they see themselves as deserving of that.

I’ve seen CEO’s and principals who were unable to relate to their employees – not because they were incapable, but because they saw themselves as hard-driving task-oriented people.

If we could somehow pry those hindering beliefs about ourselves off our subconscious, we would uncover a world of huge potential.

Some time ago, while I was having lunch with the CEO of a large non-profit organization, he asked me one of the most profound questions I’ve ever been asked. “In your training, do you try to instil new skills, or do you try to remove the obstacles people have to using the skills they already have?” Clearly, he understood the point.   

By the way, my answer was “To be effective as a trainer, you have to do both.”

Limited thinking – they just don’t think about it.

In one of my books, 11 Secrets of Time Management for Salespeople,  I articulated one of the fundamental principles of time management: Think about it before you do it.

It seems so basic. Yet, it is one of the biggest reasons why people don’t reach their potential – they just don’t think about it. The noted philosopher Bertrant Russel once said,

            Most people would rather die than think. In fact, they do.

I’ve always been interested in thinking. I know that sounds a bit weird. But early in my career as a professional speaker, I had a consultant whom I had hired to enhance my speaking career tell me that my core message was that I “taught people how to think.” Looking back, I think she was right. I rarely make that claim, as many people would be offended by the idea that they could be taught how to think better. Yet, for over 30 years, I have made a living doing just that. 

In recent years, I’ve begun building out the Menta-Morphosis® series of articles, podcasts and lessons designed to meet the issue head-on.

That speaks to the need. The unvarnished truth is that most people react emotionally — what they feel like doing; or habitually – the way that have always acted in these kinds of circumstances; or in keeping with cultural mores – “This is the way our family does this.”

And while those modes of making decisions may occasionally yield positive results, the lack of thinking most often causes more problems. 

Lack of Motivation

Here’s my final internal hindrance to success – lack of motivation. I’ve often observed that the reason most people are not successful is that they don’t want to be.

They understand that striving for excellence takes commitment, self-sacrifice, energy, and investment of time, and they just don’t want to pay that price. So, they become content with moderate degrees of success. Instead of adjusting their internal beliefs, they adjust their expectations, and rationalise their results.

So, there you have it.

Take it from a veteran of over 30 years, having worked with over 500 different organisations, and thousands of salespeople, the biggest reason people don’t realise their potential is not in the circumstances they find themselves in, but rather obstacles that reside within themselves.

They focus on the external circumstances instead of the internal obstacles.

They harbour sub-conscious beliefs that hinder them.

They don’t think about it before they do it.

They rationalise a lack of motivation.