The Misanthropic Maverick – Ageing is FUN! “Hang on a minute. Ageing isn’t fun. It’s a royal pain!”
Well, you may think that if your ageing journey is full of rheumatism, indigestion and grey hairs growing where they simply oughtn’t. As a 58 year old Socialised Maverick [1], however, I confirm that along with the arthritis, inexplicable adipose tissue and the beard, it’s also a journey filled with wisdom, fascinating and joyful experiences, and a wonderful insouciance about what others think of me!
My instinctive position
I have written in this magazine before as The Misanthropic Maverick. I am increasingly irritated by others’ failings (particularly rudeness, as you will read!). That is not, however, to assert that I am perfect. Far from it. I just care less about what others think about me if I fail.
Obviously, if I “fail big”, that’s a problem and I manage it in an appropriate manner (thankfully it’s pretty rare, but there’s still time …). However, these days, the frequent bad-hair day (beard notwithstanding) or pretty constant ill-fitting-clothes day don’t bother me much. When I was in my teens and 20s that was a bit of an issue, but frankly I began to care less and less as I aged. And having two children under two in my late 30s put paid to a lot more of the appearance issues … stopping wearing black and navy to avoid posset stains was pretty much my limit.
As a solopreneur, however, this level of indifference comes with baggage. I HAVE to care how I look and how I come across. How can I expect people to invest their corporate funds in my services if I look professional online but a rag-bag-and-bobtail mess when they meet me?! There is, therefore, a balance to be struck. As with so much in life, as Thierry Henry used to say.
The balancing act
First off, there’s the societal narrative around ageing. As someone who, in the UK at least, has been an “older person” for 8 years now, we are often portrayed pretty bleakly. The media often paints a rather bleak picture, emphasising decline, loneliness, and a gradual withdrawal from active participation in life. Articles abound online which would make it easy to believe that as we age, we become more prone to negative attitudes. This may feel like a good fit for the Misanthropic Maverick, but to be honest I never really did like people overly, so ageing is giving me a marvellous excuse to avoid people I simply don’t need in my life any more! I do, however, take umbrage at the way the media STILL reinforces stereotypes about ageing, with older people shown as cardi-wearing, immobile and infirm. Tell that to Dame Sheila Hancock or Sir David Attenborough, both wonderfully and indomitably thriving in their 90s.
Thankfully, there is also research to show that, contrary to popular belief, older adults tend to report higher levels of happiness and contentment compared to their younger counterparts. This phenomenon, often referred to as the “happiness U-curve,” suggests that happiness dips in midlife but rises again in later years. This could be attributed to “a greater sense of acceptance, reduced stress over trivial matters, and a deeper appreciation for life’s simple pleasures” as one Times reports put it. Or it could just be that as you age you cease to give a proverbial, and that has a lot of benefits!
The balance I seek to strike, when I work in organisations to help them improve their leadership, is to make a virtue of my age. Hopefully I avoid condescension, but I am comfortable using my experience over a 35 year leadership career. I share the successes in the hope I can give clients a handy blueprint they can follow or ignore – it’s up to them, after all. I also share the bloopers and near-misses, so clients can learn from my errors and save themselves a ton of worry. Essentially, I have the metaphoric book and the tee shirt and have done the ugly things so clients don’t have to.
So, where’s the FUN bit?
The fun bit is all of it. To know that I have lived to 58 without falling prey to a host of illnesses and conditions which have affected so many friends and family. To know I have worked with amazing people, doing amazing things. And most of all, to have had wonderful loved ones and family to do it all with. Reflective practice is a professional discipline for me, but it is also a healthy pursuit that keeps me grounded and with a positive perspective. “Fun” isn’t all fairground rides and candyfloss. “Fun” for me means enjoying the company of my favourite people, eating great food in beautiful places. It can be seeing the virtual “lightbulb” going off above my clients’ heads when they achieve their goals. It can even be going to my veg patch and finding produce I am sure wasn’t there the night before, meaning a great home cooked meal.
“Fun” is about personal perspective. As is ageing. It is all about how we see ourselves and how we see the world around us and it really does alter, rather lumpily, throughout life. Despite my misanthropy, I know how lucky I am to love and be loved. And that’s plenty fun enough for me.
Footnote
[1] Socialised Maverick – The Maverick Paradox: The Secret Power Behind Successful Leaders – PublishNation: by Judith Germain
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