Getting Slammed Can be a Gift – Creating a Great Outcome When You’ve Been Knocked Down.
Most of us have experienced some, or several discomforting interruptions in our lives and businesses – situations, events, or circumstances where something stops or slows our forward momentum.
A few years ago, while I was in the early stages of getting a new business off the ground, I was in a terrible car accident that totaled my car and caused substantial injuries. For months, not only did I have to spend time seeing doctors a few days per week, I was also unable to concentrate or work a full schedule in and around those appointments. I had really been enjoying growing my business and felt on top of the world until, suddenly, I was slammed, by a street sweeper no less!
Getting Slammed Can be a Gift. The experience forced me to pause.
It became an opportunity to look at how I was moving in the world and my tendency to respond in certain ways when something doesn’t go the way I want.
Suddenly, through no fault of my own, I was stopped in my tracks. For several weeks, I didn’t have the energy to focus on my business or do anything other than to see my doctors. And I had to deal with all the pieces that related to the accident– the insurance adjusters, body shop, car dealers – because my car was destroyed and I needed transportation.
Talk about an energy drain. And I was angry.
In my mind, I had every right to be because I truly was a victim in the situation. Over and over again I found myself in combat mode, ready to “do battle” with these companies, and people, and anyone else who came across my path. At the time, I imagined there was no other way. I had no idea that I could or how to create a great outcome from the situation, one that would feel good inside, not just be a “win” financially.
Fortunately for me, a trusted mentor of mine posed the question to me, “what if you didn’t have to do it that way?
What if you could have a great outcome, without a battle?”
This was inconceivable while I was holding all of the events and tasks like the victim that I believed I was. Listening to my own words and her reflections, as I shared my stories with this trusted adviser, caused something in me to click. Through that process of sharing what was going on with someone else, I could see that giving up the fight and laying down my sword was so much more appealing than doing battle. This was revelatory for me. I was well-trained for combat as a seasoned lawyer and business owner.
For many years, everything was a negotiation – you can ask anyone that I did business with … Now, I could let go and melt into the possibility that people could be helpful, that I could be well-taken care of in a situation where I really needed it to be easy. The power that I had was in my own thoughts and the energy and posture with which I communicated with others.
As soon as I shifted out of this angry victim stance and gave up the fight, everything I needed came to me, and so much more. I found a kind and supportive body shop owner to help me navigate through my dealings with the insurance company, to understand my options, their vocabulary and to create a great result. I got a very fair settlement for my car, and I even found a kind and generous car dealer who helped me land gracefully into my next car, a perfect replacement for me at a great price.
He even let me drive it off the lot without finishing paying for it, while I waited for the insurance cheque. By allowing for this possibility in my own mind and thinking, I received these graceful, seemingly effortless outcomes without having to fight for them!
These experiences gave me a new insight into how I could create my own world to reflect what I really wanted. Kind, helpful people to surround myself and do business with, outcomes that match what I want, that come in gracefully and exceed my expectations. And I could have this kind of life by adjusting the thoughts I let take up space in my head, and the energy that I exude as I approach people and events that I encounter.
I discovered that as soon as I decided to have a great experience and to create a result that would be easy and graceful, that’s exactly what I got. Now, I could look at the car accident for the gift that it was for me.
Getting Slammed Can be a Gift
We often hear the adage that our thoughts control our results; therefore, “change your thoughts, change your outcomes”. I know it sounds so familiar, so simple, as a concept, to just “change your thoughts.” For myself, though, I know that I could not have done it without a trusted, dispassionate, objective adviser reflecting back to me the rigidness of my own stance, to show me how it looked from the outside, and how I might be able to do things differently for vastly different results. It was through the support of this trusted adviser that I could find in myself, another way to manage my life and my businesses.
Have any of you gotten “slammed” in your business or your life through no fault of your own (ahem … can anyone say, “global pandemic?”) What will it take for you to create a “beyond what I expected” outcome? And, if you’re still in the throes of the impact, could you use some support to find your way?
Getting Slammed Can be a Gift …
Whatever your current situation, muster the courage to say what’s true for you, ask for what you need and share your journey with a trusted adviser, to create the best possible outcomes, exceeding even your own expectations!